Why Not A Trusted Advisor?
This is a guest blog post from my friend Dan Peoples SVP and Principal, Leadership Capital Group. Thanks Dan!
Are you wondering whether or not you are a trusted advisor to your client? If so, STOP pondering; the answer is “no”. When you are viewed as a trusted advisor, it’s obvious and you don’t have to wonder.
I find it odd that in my 16 years in executive search (both within a firm as well as inside a corporation), I can count on one hand the number of clients that viewed me as a trusted advisor.
I’m not questioning whether or not my clients recognize benefits when they retain me and their search runs smoothly and quickly. We’ve filled their position, they are happy clients, and they express that appreciation. However, most clients don’t share the depth of information vital for a true understanding of a leaders’ challenges, the team challenges, and the overall organizational challenges. Without that bigger picture, it’s impossible for a search consultant to apply the full scope of their knowledge and consultative capabilities—to be a full partner in achieving an objective broader than that of simply closing a search.
I have often asked myself: “Why doesn’t every client trust me and welcome the full breadth of the skills and insight I have to offer? Why don’t they get it?” I’m not sure I have a solid answer yet. I have begun to realize though, that most often it’s not about me. I’m sure many other search consultants, both inside and third party, have arrived at the same conclusion.
If it’s not about us, what is it? Have too many clients been burned in the past and are now walled off; shutting out all other recruiters in fear of being burned again? Is it this classic relationship story that causes tenuous client/recruiter relationships? There are many recruiters who give the best of us a bad reputation. I have heard thousands of horror stories about recruiters that blow my mind; and remember, I’ve been on the inside--a buyer of executive search as well as a provider. I really get it; but eventually clients move on and find better search consultants. Why can’t they then be open to the full scope of services we offer?
If it’s not the jilted lover story, perhaps having to use a recruiter elicits the perception of losing control or a sense of defeat? With some clients, we have executed multiples of successful searches; have we not yet proven our worth, generated trust and earned a partnership? Have they not yet recognized that we are working towards the same mission? Why do clients continue to keep us at arm’s length, why doesn’t a comfortable relationship develop where there is the same mutual respect that we all enjoy with a good friend or colleague?
Is it too much to ask that my clients trust me as they would a friend? They most likely trust doctors with their lives and give full disclosure to attorneys. They award these professionals advisor status, and on a much more personal basis. Why not share the breadth and scope of the challenges within their organization so that we search consultants can offer the range of our knowledge, the expanse of our market intelligence, therefore, the full benefit of our abilities?
This is a big conversation and your thoughts on the topic are welcomed.
Dan, Thanks for such an
Dan,
Thanks for such an honest and genuine query; it's clear you've not go an axe to grind, and are really looking for an answer. Having spent 15 years focused on trust in business, including writing three books on the subject, maybe I can help you.
The answer to "why don't more clients trust us?" is two-sided. One part, as you surmised, is that clients, along with pretty much everyone else, have become less included to trust anyone (including doctors, by the way – tops in the most trustworthy occupations are firemen, and nurses. All others have dropped).
But the other part, contrary to what you hoped, is that it is, in fact, about you. (And me, and any other service provider). A big part of the reason people don't trust us is, sorry to say, us.
You can overcome a lowered propensity to trust on their part with a greater degree of trustworthiness on your part. For a guide to how to do that, consider the Trust Equation. It states that:
Trustworthiness = (credibility + reliability + intimacy) / (self-orientation).
In our work measuring the relative effectiveness of these components, it turns out that the most powerful of the four is intimacy: the sense that your clients get that they are safe around you, you will treat their information with respect and confidence, that you are empathetic with them, are non-judgmental, and can be trusted to appreciate their emotions.
And the way to increase intimacy is to take emotional risks; there is no trust without risk, and we can't depend on our clients to take those first risks – we have to do them. We have to be the ones to say things like, "I don't know," or "I'm a little nervous," or "Forgive me if I'm missing something, but you seem a little lost at this point?"
We can improve the odds of being seen as a trusted advisor; not to the point of having dozens who trust you that way, but perhaps a few more. And it is done mainly by being willing to take emotional risks in service to our clients.
Charles, I appreciate your
Charles,
I appreciate your reply and respect your expertise on this subject of “trust”. I agree with you that trust resides with me (and you and any other service provider). I’m torn though that it is 100% on me to engender trust in others. I have been able to check all of the boxes you indicate are necessary to create a space of “trust” that a client can walk in to and they just won’t do it.
You share that “you can overcome a lowered propensity to trust on their part with a greater degree of trustworthiness on my part” which to anyone that reads this blog may seem counterintuitive. I’m confident that I always build an environment rooted in trustworthiness and openness and still no “trusted advisor” or “true partnership” relationships prevail?
I believe that engendering these trust relationships in others is quite similar to an “addict” that decides or doesn’t decide to get help. Meaning- no one can make an “addict” get help, they have to want to help themselves and it has to not be about themselves, it has to be about something that is bigger than the person. So to complete this seemingly left turn I appear to have made… if one is to do everything you suggest is required to create client trusted advisor status and it doesn’t happen, I assert that it is on them to step in to the trust pond and get wet!
You can have credibility + reliability + intimacy and I would add vulnerability and still no trustworthiness. I’m curious to read your thoughts on that. I agree with you that there is no trust without risk. I assert that most people don’t have a high risk tolerance that would allow them to move in the “trust” universe.
I believe you address this in your last paragraph: “We can improve our odds of being seen as a trusted advisor…” So should we be shooting for 100% and expect 5%?
Importantly, what I am seeing here in this dialogue, that seems to be underlying to most of the client success stories, is the presence of emotional intimacy, vulnerability and sharing from your heart. Now when you read that sentence back, the vast majority of leaders in any organization might be cringing at the thought of doing just one piece, let alone all three; (emotional intimacy, vulnerability, sharing from your heart). In fact, if you look at any highly successful company, I would be willing to bet a lot of $$$ that the leadership team has all three and they create a culture that fosters the same! So now we are off topic (smiling).
I guess my post was looking at the question, if you are doing everything “right” both in execution of a search AND you yourself are being credible + reliable + intimate and vulnerable and still no trusted advisor status then what else can we be doing or what is missing? I’m not sure there is an answer; unless we start to crack open the minds, therapeutically of course, of our clients that are resisting a much more enjoyable working relationship.
Post new comment